Edge Conference 2010

OH. MY. GOODNESS… WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN?!

I feel so… so.. speechless right now. There really is no word that can describe exactly how i’m feeling right now.. it’s like, shocked. The conference was just, rad-tastic! paradigm shift! Like.. DUDE! MY GOD IS AMAZING! really. WOAH. It’s probably the best conference I’ve EVER attended.. in my 21 years of life here in Singapore! So MUCH happened, for me, for the sheep that came with me, for my fellow leaders, for the youths that came down.. it’s so much to say!!

I wish I could take a picture of every single thing that’s happening now and archive it. But why would I?! I believe more things are coming, better things are coming. And what I see now is merely a small portion of what is yet to come for our youth ministry. Still, it’s so amazing. So amazing to see the very kids I work with respond so fervently to God, with SO MUCH excitement. What was once a dream has finally turned into a reality. To me, this means so much. God is faithful. He kept His promises to me, to the youth ministry. He answered our prayers… but there’s definitely more coming. And as i see MULTIPLE messages from these youths on twitter and facebook, loudly declaring God’s glory, God’s work in their lives, God’s amazing word that touched them and their love for God.. it’s just so…

Thank you God, THANK YOU. It’s the kind of unspeakable joy. I finally felt it. After being a cell leader for about 5 months, so short! and God has already let me taste the fruit that comes out of it. It’s really.. unspeakable joy. I can’t explain how extremely proud I was when i saw my sheep jump up and run to the front, amidst the crowd of tall teenage boys. He’s only 13. More than 2 heads shorter than most guys. And as he hopped onto the top of that giant ball in front of that crowd of hundreds, i was so proud. Because I knew, that wasn’t the old kid i knew, he was changed. He would never had had the guts to do something like that.

And EVERY, SINGLE, SESSION or moment or whatever.. (even when I’m home and lying in bed unable to sleep) God did not leave me alone. New things happened. New promises, new anointing, new word, new miracles, new faith… it’s CRAZY. I never thought it would happen so soon. Like Charissa Seaward said… Like a flood.. and a flood hits, without warning and completely saturates.. it blows you away. THIS, was a tsunami. I received a new word every single session and there was not one worship session i did not feel God’s presence, that i did not have tears coming out of my eyes.

It was the greatest blessing, having to worship with my sheepies…EXCEEDS that of being with friends. It was my first experience, and watching them let go, was like… MADNESS! To know that God has always been working, and always been faithful to them… and He’s just so amazing.. im like completely gushing right now.. I cant help it okay.

And God granted me a fresh anointing.. in something i’ve thought about in and out.. and i never actually thought that the calling would come through this conference. Woah. Really.. received anointing on Friday, Saturday you start using it already.. that’s FAST.

I learnt so much every session, so i’m just going to rattle off…

1. That every conference is NOT the SAME. Every church service is NOT the SAME. Our God is sooooo not boring. It is us that is irrelevant.. God is relevant. The ministry HAS to be JESUS centred, JESUS driven… not by us. JESUS has to be the centre.

2. He is the God of the supernatural. Of creative miracles and this generation will be the generation that will bring it forth.

3. We are ONE body MANY members. I’ve heard this tonnes of times… but somehow this time something else struck a chord. When one part of the body is hurting.. the rest of the body reacts, defends. ANd if u’re going through hell..bring the whole body of christ with you.. to fight with you.

4. God doesn’t need you to work his ministry, why should he be limited by you. IF he is, then he isn’t God! He’s either FULLY in control, or not in control AT ALL. some body parts can be emputated for the good of the rest of the body. But he wants us involved in working with him. Something we don’t deserve

5. SO many people, governments, organizaitons have been trying to shut down churches.. but the devil can’t shut the church down. COs when u cut off one.. mroe grows.

6. U are connected to the body of christ, and the body of christ is immortal. It taps into the power of God, and that’s where power flows into you.

AHHH SO MUCHHHHHH GOING NuTS>.. still have more.. bt i need to gg.. tmrw SOLID ROCK CAMP!!!!

 

The grape

CLEONE says:

i watched inception though

STINKING NICE

joie says:

yah

CLEONE says:

and got joseph gordon-levitt!!!!

and ELLEN PAGE

omgzxzxz

joie says:

did u catch that from joel or something?

CLEONE says:

de stinking?

joie says:

yes

CLEONE says:

i think so

idk

joie says:

yes u did

CLEONE says:

all their vocab

all inside me aft staying with dem for 3 mths

HAHHA

joie says:

HAHAHA

true

CLEONE says:

even all their shit jokes

joie says:

i realize people at vfc talk very differently

CLEONE says:

all stuck with me

joie says:

like u all have ur unique lingo

CLEONE says:

YA

all de codenames and all

my gawd

joie says:

i see twitter and its filled with bo jio

what’s with bo jio

CLEONE says:

AHAHAHAHHA

idk man!

joie says:

every day someone will say bo jio

CLEONE says:

AHAHAHHA

idk man

joie says:

and oh my word

CLEONE says:

i havent used bo jio yet

HAAHHA

joie says:

oh my word was around since 2007

CLEONE says:

YA

tt one i hear like a lot

i was like

….

HAHAAH

joie says:

im going to start a new one

oh my grape

OH MY GRAPE

CLEONE says:

AHAHAHAHAHAH

JOY!

AHHAAH

oh my grape

joie says:

say with me

CLEONE says:

oh my headache

HAHAAH

joie says:

yes

oh my grape! u caught it

CLEONE says:

AHHAHA

comeon say with me!

oh my headache!!

joie says:

oh my headache!!

omh my grape

this is fun

CLEONE says:

HAAHHAHAHAH

joie says:

and very retarded

CLEONE says:

ok our secret phrases from now

HAHAHAHA

joie says:

okay

grape is good, all the time

CLEONE says:

AHAHHAHAHAHA

AND ALL DE TIME

GRAPE IS GOOD

oh my goodness

joie says:

hahahahahahaha

IT WORKS

CLEONE says:

grape is good!

all de time

it puts a song of praise in this heart of mine!

grape is good!

ALL DE TIME!

LOL

joie says:

grapeness

CLEONE says:

how abt

grapeli-ness

HAHAHA

joie says:

…

DOTSSSSSSSSSS

CLEONE says:

SORRY LUH

HAHAHA

joie says:

so retarded .. HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA

i think im going to say it

these are the fruits of joy

CLEONE says:

OMG

JOY

OMGGGGGGG

AHHHHH

idk wad to say alr

u win u win

joie says:

i feel like copying this entire convo and upload it on my blog or somewhere or something

CLEONE says:

omg

go ahead

HAHAHA

Going home

On my way home now on the mrt train.. It’s been another work day but there are some things I wana thank god for. Knowing that He’a been around every single day just makes my weight lighter.. And of course not just knowing but seeing what he’s been doing.

My schedule as of today is fully packed every single day from 8 to 11 pm for the next 3 weeks running. Not eactlt complaining cos for some part are things that are fairly exciting and for others is pretty much my daily walk and duty for god.

Just a thought, I found the awesome thing bout this god I know is this. Solely in the Christian doctrine is god potrayed as someone close, loving and always drawing near. And I guess that’s what’s really pulling me through.

If not for what Jesus did on the cross, god would just be a distant being, unreachable, accessible only to a few priest. Yet for this unconprehensible kind of love he sacrificed so much… So I can bother him with my daily whines, rants, cries, requests, questions etc.

I realizes hw bothersome I actually am. Haha, it’s like I was created with this incessant need to keep connected with people, talk and sometimes will go to the extent of sayig and asking random things so to keep a conversation alive. It’s amazing hw some of my friends like Adele and Joel has been keeping up with me. I think they’re gifted with the fruit of patience.

So yes, here’s to basically thank god.. For making himself availble 24/7, right next to me.

Oh simei here! Gtg:)

Contractual agreement

Just in case you’re confused, the agreement states- parties involved should not be completely honest with each other, as to forebode any further depth into the pit.

Signed. Sealed. And now, I’ve delivered as per request.

Life is going so fast, it’s crazy. It’s been so exciting and amazing and i’ve probably never felt more fulfilled ever in my life. So much has happened in the past 2 weeks I really have no idea what to say.

One moment I was sinking in quicksand, and then He came down, lifted me up and I’m still going up …

And what has been sustaining it is truly God’s strength, His joy.

There’s just so much that’s changing in church right now, it’s both scary yet exciting. Sometimes I wonder if we’d ever make it through, if we’d ever see this breakthrough after 12 years of being set in this stone. But simply knowing that God’s hands are the one changing and making the movement, there’s really nothing to doubt and fear anymore.

It’s His kingdom and it’s His glory, and i’m just glad that he chose us to take part in building it.

2 different worlds

This is how i see it.

We were from two different world, we just never saw it.

Now that i do, i’m just reinforcing the fact that we ARE from 2 different worlds, and you are proving it so too.

We’re walking in opposite directions, doesn’t make me sad nor happy, just fine. I always envisioned only myself sprinting for change, but since you decided to join the run and help widen the gap, why not.

If that’s really what you want to do, no one’s gona stop you. You’re not gona receive the attention you want. There are more important things to dealwith.

1 year

She was crying in the bathroom, feeling like the whole world had abandoned her. Nothing, she felt like nothing, as if breathing alone would make her disappear from existence. It was after weeks of wasting herself away, weeks of torment and the cut throat anguish from the betrayal she experienced repeatedly. Trying to solve this puzzle was beyond her, why it happened, how it happened, what now, why, who, how come… the tangled mystery of human nature and illogical Word she once so revered now find herself unable to obey.

Nothing made sense. Where she was then, her mental, spiritual and emotional state were all off. It was a month since any music came out of her, any form of spirituality came out of her. In fact whatever that came out of her was pure evil. She was in no position to speak to God, much less lead worship the very next morning. Insufficient, incapable, not fitting, wretched, that’s what she was.

Yet, He never left her. He was the last one standing by her, unfailing, always comforting, always speaking, always encouraging, always embracing, always loving.

That very night, He taught her about worthiness.

“³⁰Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting,
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.”

And ever since then, every thing that happened fell in line with that. And as they say, the rest was history.

One year later, she finds herself sitting in her room. Nostalgic.

It was like a distant dream, the kind of dream that you cried and you felt the pain. Then you wake up. You feel the tears on your cheeks, but you don’t remember the pain, you don’t remember how it happened. You just knew you were hurt somehow, your heart still aches a little as an aftermath from the dream, but it slowly fades as you wake up in present time. You can’t remember why you were even crying. Or like a movie that made you really angry, you can still feel the anger after it all ends, but its a distant sort of anger. Like a switch. You can turn it on and then you can turn it off.

Yep, I still remember how i felt. Some memories are meant to be kept, and I do remember them very vividly. But I thank God for granting me forgiveness, taught me how to forgive, taught me how to forget and for some parts of it, really forget.

It was a long walk, that one year. Looking back, I only saw Him and me walking that one year together, with people occasionally passing us by. There was nothing else much I remember other than Him. It was quiet, and I found rest… for a long long long 6 months. Definitely a much better replacement than 5 days of bible camp.

For the first time in 21 years (Yes, 21 years), I’m missing bible camp. I was really bummed out that I’d be missing out on God’s word for me, his touch and all… but come to think of it… I had that the past 6 months.. and I wasn’t even in camp. Adele told me last night, the challenge is in realizing that God can speak and touch us in our daily lives, and it doesn’t have to be only at camp, like how he has been so much more alive to me the past 6 months when I wasn’t around at church.

I’m truly thankful. I don’t think I’d actually be this free of pain, hatred and bitterness if not for Him. I’m joy again, educated more about life through an impactful movie, yet spirit and outlook untainted, brimming with love, hope and joy.

Can’t wait to explode. :D:D